Sex in Society
July 22, 2008
Oh crap, a teenager talking about sex. Let’s be adults now shall we?
As human beings, we are still animals. Animals have survival instincts and we are no exception. It seems though we have learned to suppress these instincts in order to keep up with our no-bullshit, all-business lifestyles. I’m not implying that we are a sexless race (we both know that’s not true), but in relation to everything else, it’s sort of swept under the carpet.
I believe that the society’s ostracism of sex begins in abstinence until marriage. I want to make it clear that I have no personal problems with this decision, nor do I believe that it is necessarily a bad thing. I do disagree with it though. I believe sex is a big part of a relationship, and it is important to know you are sexually compatible with your partner before taking the big plunge. Nevertheless, abstinence remains a popular choice and because of the way it is expressed. It is quite dangerous, The idea of abstinence makes it seem like sex is wrong if it is between two people who are not married. It is being taught to children at a younger and a more impressionable age, and it’s leaving them with this idea.
An alternative to teaching abstinence, is furthering ignorance. This has become popular, because it isn’t based in religion, making it more difficult to criticize. This practice includes lying to children (the stork, or any other ridiculous fables) and hiding sex from them, and society as a whole. It’s kept quiet and toned down in all forms of media, it isn’t discussed openly like other topics, and it is seen as a taboo.
The reality is, sex is as natural as eating, breathing and sleeping. We naturally feel attraction and lust because they are symptoms to our instincts. Our survival instincts tell us to survive, by furthering the species and reproducing. I’m not saying we should be doing it in the streets, but we should not hang with mouths agape when our children ask us about it. With the way things are today, kids are being exposed to everything quickly. And remember, if little Jimmy knows about it, then so do all of his friends, and eventually the whole elementary school. It’s the natural flow of information driven by a curious mind.
While I’m discouraging lying to your children, it is at your discretion. If you’re middle-schooler can’t keep it in their pants (It’s scary, I know, but I’ve read/heard about it) maybe they do need the stork story. I guess it all depends on your parenting. I’ve always been sexually responsible, thanks to a couple of people who share my last name and live with me. Let’s take a second to talk about parenting. Now I don’t mean to tell you how to do your job, but I’ve seen good parents, I’ve seen bad parents, and I’ve seen what happens as a result of both. If you can’t comfortably talk to your kids (I’m talking about 13+ here) about anything, including sex, you have not developed a fully successful relationship with your child.
I can discuss sex with either of my parents without a problem, and have been able to since I can remember. I’m not a baby daddy, but I’m no virgin, I’m just not an idiot. Don’t misinterpret this as an invitation to question their activities, that’s exactly the kind of invasion of privacy that draws them away from you. Personally, privacy is pretty high up on my list. Don’t push things, Don’t ask too many questions, it’s just conversation.
And I feel I should mention this. If you’re seething with hatred right now, because you believe that kids should not be exposed to such things at a young age, you’ve got a pretty big blind spot you’re stubbornly ignoring. Society does throw a sheet over sex, but not just any sheet. The sheet is red, it’s silky, it’s mysterious and exciting, and every now and again, the sheet slips just a little bit. What I’m saying is society hides sex, but it hints at it. There’s always a late night movie playing with a little bit of it, or a suggestive ad, or somebody lets a word slip and every kid within a mile asking everyone they know what it is. Trust me, my little brother (10 years) asks me some about things I never imagined he could hear about.
Basically: Be respectful, be easygoing, be smart, know your kid before he/she comes home with your invitation to their shotgun wedding.
All images from sxc.hu (the stock.xchng)
July 22, 2008 at 12:42 am
Good point.
Society doesn hide sex, i agree. But here’s the thing, i’m a very strong believer in not having sex before marriage. I wouldn’t know where you’d get the idea that religion does support it, because in hebrew traditions, (jews-are the foundation of Christianity, thus, hebrews) having SEX sactified a marriage. It WAS the marriage, so in other words, if you had sex before marraige you were considered an adultress or someone who was unclean.
I’m not going to say, that you don’t have a right to your opinion. You do…i would definatly say you have some valid points. But maybe you should look alittle deeper. On the side that you think is niave.
July 22, 2008 at 3:51 am
Thanks for your comment. I can see where you’re coming from. Then again, I’m not much of one for traditions.